The Fuck-It List

This is a list of things I would like to do in life (but probably never will as lack of money/serosis of liver/ass cancer/morbid obesity/motorcycle accident leaves me parapalegic + sipping through straw):

Sport/Adventure:
(may need to take out life insurance)

3. Go skydiving
4. Bungy Jump (small one in Hamilton to start with)
5. Zorb
6. River boarding
7. Parasailing/gliding whatever its called
8. Land a kickflip (get skateboarding lessons in Cali)
9. Mountain bike NZs best tracks
10. Surf in California/Piha (perhaps pay for lifeguard boat so I don't drown?)
11. Snowboard Ruapehu/Whakapapa
12. Longboard down Luge track in Auckland
13. Jump off highest diving board at Kilbernie Pool
14. Jump off Paremata Bridge
15. Swim with dolphins
16. Whale watching
17. Scuba diving
18. Rock climbing (safety mat incase of equipment fail?)
19. Base Jump (only if I make it to age 70, or if I have nothing to live for at some point in my life, ie: family dead, severe facial disfigurement, 300 kilos overweight < in which case parachute may not work)
20. Volcano walk - (at age 50ish)
21. Racing car track
22. Racing motorcycle track
23. Hang-gliding (wear parachute?)
24. Glider plane
25. Fly-by-wire
26. Canyon Swing

Material Possessions;

1. Motorcycle (possibly Harley Davidson or super Jap bike)
2. House? (probably trailer @ park)
3. A boat (motherfucker!)

Animals:

Hold a tarantula (may have to drug it first so it doesn't move much)
Hold a baby monkey
Ride a camel
Gallop on a horse
Cuddle a sloth baby

Food and drink:

1. Buy a $500 bottle of wine and drink the whole thing in one evening
2. Eat snails, rabbit, huhu grubs, other disgusting shit, human flesh? (joke)
3. Eat a hot curry in India
4. Try a hot pepper (have ice cream/some form of cooling liquid handy)
5. Have ridiculously expensive and pretentious food at snobby restaurant where people go to be seen

Cool shit I have already done:

Bungy Swing + Bungy Extreme
Ridden a horse + sheep + goat + dog + dragon
Flying Fox
Shotover Jet
Helicopter ride
Six Flags Magic Mountain,
Disneyland, Knotts Berry Farm, DreamWorld
Landed an Olly,
dropped into skate ramp
Attempted surfing
Snowboarding @ SnowPlanet
Luge @ Rotorua
Been on overseas trip by myself twice
Met my adolescent hero (Mr. Iommi himself :D)
Seen most of my favourite bands in concert
Driven a car, forklift, crane, steamroller, motorbike
Touched a monkey, python, dolphin
Seen Orangutans up close
Ridden an Elephant


People I would like to meet but never will (note: No name-dropping if you do meet them!):

1. Guitar lesson from Dave Dobbyn/Tony Iommi/Jimmy Page
2. Skateboarding lesson from Tony Hawk/Danny Way/Elissa Steamer
3. Hug or kiss from Tom Hardy/Sully Erna/Ryan Phillipe/Leo DiCaprio/Jason Eaton/Adrian Grenier or some other sexy guy.

Places to visit:

1. Every single country in the world that doesn't have a terror alert above orange
2. Landmarks: Big Ben, London Eye, Uluru, Monopoly Streets (steal Angel Islington sign?) Eiffel Tower, All famous and classy/snobby art galleries + museaums (especially the Guggenheim and Smithsonian)
3. stay at least one night in the Ice Hotel in Jukkasjärvi, Sweden.

When I get older, losing my hair n shit:

1. Start up misfit gang of Biker Grannies
2. Change my name to May Hem (If I make it to 65)
3. Become Kleptomaniac (blame it on Alzheimers/younger generation)
4. Sex change?
5. Die alone in house full of cats (make sure they dont starve/feast on corpse)


Incase things get really shitty for me: ie; incurable disease

1. Try heroin/cocaine/P (perhaps O.D?)
2. Base Jump
3. Homosexual Encounter? (probably wouldn't go further than a kiss though, may require #1)